Because Sherlock wasn't here
by BookwormSH96
Summary: John has tried to go on for the last three years without Sherlock. He waited for a miracle but it came too late


**This has probably been done before but here is my take on it.**

John had tried to continue with life for the last three years. But since Sherlock's death, he slowly went downhill. The first few weeks he sat in the flat not moving from Sherlock's favourite chair. He sat and watched life go by, hoping that being the genius Sherlock was, and he had somehow survived. But as the months passed he gave up hope. Realising he wasn't come back.

John quit his job at the surgery, a year after Sherlock's death. He developed a drinking problem, drowning his sorrows with booze.

For the first two years Mycroft kept an eye on John. Checking in on him regularly, but like everything else in John's life that stopped too.

While out in the town, when it neared the 3rd year since Sherlock's passing, John though he saw Sherlock several times but when he blinked and looked back he was gone. He was slowly losing his mind.

The nearer and nearer the third year approached, the more John didn't feel like going on.

That day he had lost his best friend since the war the only reason he had got out of bed in the mornings. If he hadn't met Sherlock, John felt he would have taken his own life years ago. When he met Sherlock he became his rock, while he became Sherlock's. But now Sherlock was gone and John had no rock to keep him standing. He decided he couldn't go on living.

On the day of it being 3 year since Sherlock's death, John sat with his gun in his hand. One single bullet was loaded. John sat with his eyes closed recalling all the times he and Sherlock had together. A sound made him stir. John opened his eyes and saw Sherlock standing in front of him. John looked at the clock it will nearly time.

"Come to guide me across 'ay Sherlock?"John said, tears streaking down his face. Seeing his friend again brought back so much emotion. He didn't care if it was just a figure of his imagination.

"What do you mean John?" Sherlock asked.

On the mantle an alarm went off, "Well it's time" John said before raising the gun to his chest. The alarm sounded once more and John pulled the trigger. His heart stopped exactly 3 years since Sherlock jumped.

Sherlock stood in the flat, frozen to the spot. He had been too scared to move. His friend had shot himself in front of him. _John thought I was his imagination_. Sherlock realised in his head. He should have said something sooner prove to John that he was real, alive and breathing standing in front of him. But he didn't he left it too late. John was gone. Sherlock felt like taking his own life too.

He had been keeping an eye on John for the last couple of weeks, following him around the town. He wasn't sure if he had been seen by John but he could be certain if John had, it wouldn't have helped John's mental state.

The only thing that stopped him was the fact that John wouldn't have wanted him to. His mind, in John's eyes, was far too brilliant too waste.

So Sherlock decided to go on living. Carry on with his work in honour of John. He arranged with Mycroft, John's funeral. He was buried next to Sherlock's empty grave.

On his grave stone was carved the words:

_John Watson_

_Loyal Friend and Brother_

_Died missing a friend, who he missed dearly. _

Sherlock placed a stone ornament my his grave side, with the engraving _"I am so sorry John, Please forgive me" _

Years later Sherlock had been on a case, and was fatally wounded. He lay in his hospital bed, thinking of John.

He looked up and saw a figure of John in the door way. "So it's time then. Is it John? I am sorry. I should have been there."

The figure approached Sherlock's bed, "Sherlock, it is okay. But no it is not time yet. I just came to say how I am of you. You went on. I am proud of you. And I will wait until it is your time. I will be here waiting and watching over you."

Sherlock had tears streaming down his face, "Okay John, I will go on just because you asked and I will wait for that day." Sherlock reached his hand out to John. John did the same. Their hands didn't quite touch.

"Well I guess it is goodbye until then." John said before slowly fading away.

**A.N First depressing fic, was feeling bad and on my way to see my friend so got the bad feelings out my system by writing this on the way. So please read and review, let me know what you think.**


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